...But I've only got 4 limbs!!
That's what it feels like today, anyway. I felt a good bit like I started the race in slow motion, and then I couldn't seem to keep up.
I was questioning myself, questioning God. "Why would you call me to serve here, now? Why would you give me more to do when so much else is piling up around my head?"
Then, in short bursts of joy, He explained it to me.
First He reminded me of the joys I already have in my life: She makes me smile whenever I need it most, and she doesn't even have to try.
Then, He reminded me why He called me there. I talked with someone, someone very insightful and wonderful. She asked me about things I hadn't thought about for a long time, she told me things I hadn't thought about, at all. She said that there were so many things about me that fit for this kind of service, things I hadn't even thought about. God spoke through her to show me how this is something I can really help with.
And as I left, that small smile eeking out the corners of my mouth, I got in my car and the first words out of the radio finished it for me:
"Trust in me, keep your life free."
"Never will I leave you, that's something I'll never do, for ever remember that it's true, Never will I leave you."
The song was "Never Will I Leave You," which is an amazing song by Michael Card about how God will always be there, always love you, and never leave your side.
I don't know God's plan, I'll never know it, but I accept that He knows what He's doing.
It's like this: Your life is one big friggin roller coaster, there are highs, there are lows, there are parts that are exciting, parts that are scary.
But there's also a strong clamp keeping you on the rails, there's protection, keeping you in the cart. You don't have to worry about being flung headlong out into the darkness. He won't let that happen. He's got you, and that's all you need.
I know He wouldn't give me all of this if He didn't have a purpose, and plan, and if He didn't think I could do some Good.
So tonight, I pray:
Lord,
I don't know where this is going, I only know that it is hard.
You refine us through fire, use iron to sharpen iron,
I know that only You know what you are shaping me to be.
So I will trust in your grace, your power, and your Will.
I will thank you for all my joys, and all my pains.
I have so much to be thankful for, if I tried to list it all, I'd be here all week.
I only ask that You fill me, so that when I fall, You will pick me up,
When I fail, You take up the slack.
Please keep me strong as you shape me to your Will.
I trust that I will never have a burden beyond my strength,
Because if my strength ever fails, Your strength fills in the gaps.
I am the wretch the song refers to, but You are making me Holy.
Amen
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